“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
A friend of mine kept blaming his partner because she wanted him to make some changes in his addictive habits; it came down to breaking up. So … he decided he’d do something!
The hitch is he also decided he had no choice in the matter. Interesting conclusion. I don;t think he realized she wasn’t forcing him into a treatment center. She was just saying she didn’t want to associate with the addiction; she wanted to associate with him … unaltered.
I wonder how many times we give power away, thinking the way he was thinking.
The more empowering thinking is ‘well, how much do I want this relationship’, or ‘why did I choose this person to be my partner’? Do I still want to be her (his) one-and-only. I know my partner has pushed my buttons, without saying a word. What a waste it would be if I didn’t aspire to be … what? I want to say, more like him … I am sure I see him as better than me, in certain areas. Sure I do! And it’s my invitation to myself, really, wanting to be better in general. So, why not emulate what I admire.
Copying my friends’ or loved ones’ examples, and taking their feedback seriously, to me, is the hardest game in town. It’s also my favorite.